Divine Spark
by vdogrrl44
Summary: Alexandra Eames is experiencing an awakening of the soul. Will be M in future chapters.
1. Chapter 1

It was a brisk autumn day with a slight bite in the air when Alexandra Eames walked out of her house wrapped in a soft cashmere scarf she splurged on at Barneys. She still can't believe how much money she spent on the blue confection, as her usual motto was to "save for a rainy day". But lately, Alex felt the need to break some of her old habits and just enjoy without the worry.

My therapist says it's a natural reaction to the kidnapping. She warned me to not go to far in my fervor to enjoy life, (i.e. drinking, casual sex, etc) which are common for people recovering from a traumatic experience. So, if the worst I could do is spend $400 on a sapphire pashima, I think I'll be okay.

I'm sleeping better now too thanks to my session with Dr. Keeler. She taught me really cool meditation and breathing techniques for when those panicky moments crash down on me. But it's really Bobby who has made the most impact on my recovery. He's been so attentive and caring. I still remember seeing the silhouette of his large frame slumped down sleeping in the orange hospital chair. He came to visit every morning and every night with yummy food and a collection of fantastic poetry, which he would read to me with a deep, soothing voice.

Yes, I, Alexandra Eames, love poetry. Hey - if my partner can be a freakin' genius and know everything strange and wonderful, I'm surely allowed to show that I am a multi-faceted woman.

Bobby's found out about my love for everything Whitman, Frost, Cavafy & Tennyson from the usual way he finds out about everything else...he snoops. One night I fell asleep while we were going over case files in my living room, he took the opportunity to rummage through my bookcase. I recall waking up and finding Bobby going through a complete volume of Shakespeare's sonnets.

"You just can't help yourself, can you, Goren?" I teased with sleepy eyes and a stretch of my arms.

"Oh...I'm sorry, I just, well, you fell asleep and I always wanted to know what you liked to read. I never knew you were a poetry lover, Eames", he gave me that little smirk with eyebrows raised to show me that he wasn't really making fun of me.

I smile at the memory of that night; it was unusual for me to speak so openly about myself. Maybe it was the lack of sleep, more probable it was the 2 glasses of wine I drank on an empty stomach, but I had the terrible aching urge to tell Robert Goren everything inside of me.

So, with the willpower that my mother instilled in me, I did what needed to be done. I repeated the chant, "he's your partner, he's your partner". Instead of telling Bobby my feelings, I offered to loan him one of my favorites, The Prophet by Kahil Gilbran. As I watched him leave my house, I become strangely aroused thinking of him lying in his bed, touching the pages I had touched so many times. Thank goodness he was already driving away before I called him back for a much better bedtime story.

I can't even remember the steps I took to get here with all the reminiscing I was doing, but somehow I found myself in front of 1 Police Plaza. I fight to get a space on the busy elevator, get my double shot espresso and get to my desk before Ross gets in.

Of course, Bobby is already crouching over his desk reading god knows what. I can't help the smile that forms on my lips, seeing him makes me happy. You know when you catch yourself smiling so much that your you can feel it at the sides of your eyes? That's me right now, taking in his broad, muscled back stretching his blue navy dress shirt. Okay, Alex, let's get rid of the flirty girl smile and put the tough girl face on...

"Good Morning Sunshine," I say as he looks up as if startled by my appearance.

"Hey, Good Morning, Eames. Did you sleep well last night?", I can feel his eyes run over my face to check for signs of sleeplessness or distress.

"I actually slept pretty damn good. It's amazing what a full nights sleep can do for you." I look up through my eyelashes at him, "I feel ready for anything today."

Chapter 2 Coming Very Soon!

Please send me your feedback...please be gentle with me, I'm new to this party!!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Unfortunately, I wasn't ready for the huge mountain of paperwork waiting for me on our desks. However, if I didn't do it, I know that Bobby would let it sit there forever. I have learned over the years that Bobby will do just about anything to get out of paperwork.

Of course, I take advantage of this and agree to do most of the paperwork if Bobby agrees to be my personal coffee delivery boy. And I don't mean the squad room sludge either, but really good coffee from Dean & Deluca down the street. Bobby can make a coffee run last a good hour, so to make it up to me, he brings me back delicious pastries or exotic fruits.

"Eames, you wanna grab some lunch downstairs?"

I look up from my paperwork to find Bobby standing by my desk. As if answering him verbally isn't enough, my stomach decides to grumble in response.

Bobby laughs, "I guess that's a yes. I need fresh air to wake me up, this paperwork crap is making me fall asleep."

"Paperwork? You mean the whole I'm-pretending-to-do-paperwork-routine that you have going on? It must be terribly exhausting," I say with a teasing smirk.

After we grab our hot dogs and fries, we find a nice shady spot for us to sit and eat.

Bobby has already devoured one hot dog and is working on the second when he tries to cover up a quiet burp.

I shake my head and reach into my coat pocket to retrieve some antacid I learned to carry around for him years ago. "Here, take these before you even think about finishing that other hot dog. Save me and you the torture of your indigestion."

He turns his head shyly with a grin and takes the pills from me. "Thanks, Eames. You're too good to me."

"No, Goren, it's just that I don't want to hear you bitching all afternoon about heartburn. "

He nods silently as he chews on his ketchup drenched French fries.

"How's your mom doing?" I asked gently.

He stops mid-chew as if startled by my question. "She's having a hard time on the chemotherapy. She gets very agitated, and the treatment is interfering with her regular meds. She's a fighter, but I'm starting to think that it's just a matter of time before she slips away from me forever."

My eyes start to tear up as my heart breaks for this man and his ailing mother. When will their pain be over?

I gently put my hand on his thigh. "Bobby, I know you are not used to having someone be strong for you, but if you need to let go sometimes, I'm always here for you."

Even though he is staring at the ground, I can see the moisture at the corner of his eyes. I can then feel his hand cover mine on his thigh, "Just don't ever leave, okay, Eames?" he says as he grips my hand stronger.

"Never, Bobby. I'm afraid you are stuck with me," I say.

He looks up and smiles and my heart can begin beating again. 


	3. Chapter 3

Saturday morning greeted me with bright sunshine filtering through my blinds and the usual sounds of leaf blowers and lawnmowers.

I turn over and check the clock to find that I actually accomplished to sleep a full eight hours last night. This is cause for a celebration, so I wash up and grab some clothes and decide to head over to Luna's Bakery to indulge in a chocolate croissant and great Italian coffee.

As I open my front door, I look down to find a small box wrapped with a red ribbon around it. I pick it up and look up and down my street wondering where it had come from, more importantly, who had left it.

I sit down on my steps and carefully unwrap the ribbon and open the box.

Inside I find a beautiful vintage crystal butterfly broach decorated with colorful topaz and ruby stones. I brush my hands across the piece of jewelry, wondering how anyone can know that this exactly something that I would love to have.

I search through the small box to find a note explaining who left this, but all I find is a typed note on crisp stationary.

DON'T GO FAR OFF, NOT EVEN FOR A DAY Don't go far off, not even for a day, because -- because -- I don't know how to say it: a day is long and I will be waiting for you, as in an empty station when the trains are parked off somewhere else, asleep.

Don't leave me, even for an hour, because then the little drops of anguish will all run together, the smoke that roams looking for a home will drift into me, choking my lost heart.

Oh, may your silhouette never dissolve on the beach; may your eyelids never flutter into the empty distance. Don't leave me for a second, my dearest, because in that moment you'll have gone so far I'll wander mazily over all the earth, asking, Will you come back? Will you leave me here, dying?

Alex finds her hands trembling at the passion and emotion this poem expresses. One side of my brain is cautioning myself because lord knows there are weirdo's out there that might have read about my kidnapping in the paper and develop some unhealthy obsession. But somehow, this gift, this poem does not frighten me. I experience a moment of exciting anticipation.

Who could have sent this?

Certainly not Jerry (slime ball), or Mitch (a total germ-o-phobe), the last two guys I went out with. They wouldn't know my taste in jewelry and they both definitely wouldn't know a Pablo Neruda poem as sensual as this.

The only other man in my life is Bobby. Bobby? Could it be possible that….Nah.

Get your mind out of the clouds, girl. You know that Bobby cares for you, but he's totally married to his work.

I gently wrap the brooch back into the tissue paper and close the box. I bring it back into my house and set it on the mantle along with the poetic note. Better not get yourself worked up either way, Alex, after all, it could be for Amanda, the 20-something stewardess that lives next door that has a boyfriend in every state of the union.

Well, her loss, because I love that brooch and I just might wear it into work Monday. 


	4. Chapter 4

The start of the work- week began much earlier than usual for Bobby & Alex. Both received a phone call at 4:30 a.m. notifying them that their murder suspect was found dead in their car of an apparent carbon monoxide poisoning. There would be no conviction for his crime, since he chose suicide over prison.

All there was left for the detectives to do is complete the paperwork and notify the murder victim's family that there would be no justice for their son.

Bobby had been distracted all day. Alex kept catching him looking at the brooch she wore today. As observant as Bobby is he must be curious as to why I chose to wear jewelry to work today. Does he think I have a boyfriend?

Later, as Alex was driving him home, Bobby finally asked, "Is that new, Eames?" pointing to the sparkling butterfly on my sweater.

"Yes, it is actually."

"It looks really nice on you. Where'd you get it? One of those street fairs you love to go to on the weekends?" he inquired.

"No, it was a gift. I couldn't resist wearing it today, it's so pretty."

"It's perfect for you, just your style. In Japanese, the butterfly is a symbol of renewal and rejuvenation; it represents the ability to bounce back from disappointments. It is also a symbol of beauty and metamorphosis", Bobby says.

Alex laughs, "Wow, and here I thought it was just a pretty trinket. Actually, that makes a lot of sense now that I know that."

"Why is that?", Bobby inquires.

"When I was a little girl my grandmother had a butterfly plant in her backyard. I would spend many summers with her in Queens and one of my favorite things to do was watch for the butterflies that would surround the plant. They were always so beautiful and vivid, always flying gracefully through the air. I suppose I found it surreal to find such beautiful creatures in a backyard in Queens. One time, I swear there must have been 20 of them and they fluttered all around me, I almost felt as if they were going to lift me up and fly me away with them. My grandmother found me just like that and up until the day she died she called me her little butterfly."

As I turned my head to look at Bobby, I find his attention completely on me, and I start to redden.

"I always thought butterflies were so beautiful and resilient, so what it officially symbolizes completely makes sense to me. Thank you, Bobby."

As I pull up to Bobby's apartment building he finally speaks. "Eames, the person who gave you that gift, well, they must know you very well and love you very much. Have a good night, Eames," he says as he closes the car door.

"Good night, Bobby," I say as I find my fingers have been caressing my brooch.

As I watch Bobby enter his building, I find myself wondering who could have sent this gift to me. My heart wishes for it to still be Bobby, but why wouldn't he just tell me? Besides, Bobby lives for his work and he wouldn't do anything to jeopardize his career and having an affair with his partner would be completely prohibited in his mind.

Anyway, Bobby's doesn't need to be anyone's secret admirer. He seems to have a healthy dating life. There was Denise in the Chief's office, Christine from Records and some Brazilian girl he met while at the supermarket. As awkward as Bobby can be socially, he never seems to lack female companionship when he wants it.

Oh God, this has officially given me a headache. I can't wait to go home, put on some warm pajamas and snuggle in bed with a good book. I really need a social life and who knows, maybe I'll be getting one very soon. 


	5. Chapter 5

After two weeks passed, Alex was quite disappointed that she hadn't received any further communication from her secret admirer. She was starting to feel as silly as a teenager imagining what he looked like or what they would do together.

With a shake of her head, Alex decided that she really needed to get out more and stop pining away for some mystery man that just may be another Mr. Wrong.

"Alex, are you with us this morning?" her yoga teacher inquired.

"Oh, sorry, Pam, I can't see to focus today," Alex said as she changed from lotus position to downward dog.

"That's okay, Alex, just breathe and let's see if we can get that focus back, huh?" Pam said with an understanding smile.

As Alex focused her breathing, she realizes that it was a really good idea to take up Yoga. It helps her concentrate better, helps her de-stress after a hard case, and damn, did it help keep her limber.

After showering and changing at the Yoga studio, Alex takes a leisurely walk down Bleeker Street to window shop. She stops to admire the beautiful handcrafted rockers in the storeroom window.

"Excuse me, Miss," a young voice from her behind her says.

Alex turns around to find herself looking down at a young boy with black hair and dark gray eyes smiling up at her.

"Hi, there, do you need help or something?" she asks, noting the boy couldn't be more than 10 years old.

"No, Miss, I was told to give you this," he says and produces a slim box wrapped in glittering red wrapping paper.

Alex takes the gift from the child with a confused look.

"Who gave you this, little man?" she asks while she takes in her surroundings.

"Sorry, I promised not to tell," he says.

"Oh, well, I wouldn't want you to break a promise, but could you at least tell me what he looked like? I want to be able to thank him properly. It's only polite, I'm sure you mom told you that its good manners," Alex says hoping that this boy's mother was as strict with him as her mother was with her regarding proper etiquette.

The boy was biting his lip seemingly deciding the best course of action.

"Well, I guess that would be okay. He was older looking than you and had glasses," the cherub faced boy confided.

"Oh, that's not bringing anyone to mind, do know him?"

"Nope. He just drove up and told me that if I gave the pretty lady walking out of the building this present that he would give me $5.OO," Junior Donald Trump replied almost proudly.

"Okay. Well, how about the car? Was it a cool car or was he in a cab?" Alex asks innocently.

"Lady, it was an old car, but it was really banging, I mean, it was shiny with a loud engine and leather seats," he said with excited eyes.

"Loud engine, huh? Well, when you say old, do you mean old, like 10 years old or old old? Alex continues with her little interrogation.

"Nah, real old, like those old car auctions my dad watches where they sell for serious cash," he replies.

"Miss, I gotta go home now. My moms will kill me if I don't get home on time. Bye!" he says as he rushes away.

"Bye kid," Alex yells out to the boy.

She looks down at the present in her hands and begins to flush. How could he know where to find her on a Sunday afternoon?

And glasses and an old shiny car?

Oh, God….Lewis??


	6. Chapter 6

During her walk home, Alex's fingers played with the gift box she had been given. As she contemplated the idea of Lewis being her secret admirer, she realized that she only met him a handful of times.

'Detective Alex' is what he would always call her. Lewis was always polite and sweet to her, but overall, the best compliment Alex could give him is that he is Bobby's lifelong friend. Anyone who could gain Bobby's trust for that long is certainly a special person.

Once Alex was snuggled up on her couch, she unwrapped the glittering red paper and opened the box. Folding back the snow-white tissue paper, Alex finds a single sapphire blue cashmere glove. As she raises the soft glove to her cheek, she sees another note lying at the bottom of the box.

_My hand is lonely for your clasping, dear;  
My ear is tired waiting for your call.  
I want your strength to help, your laugh to cheer;  
Heart, soul and senses need you, one and all.  
I droop without your full, frank sympathy;  
We ought to be together - you and I;  
We want each other so, to comprehend  
The dream, the hope, things planned, or seen, or wrought.  
Companion, comforter and guide and friend,  
As much as love asks love, does thought ask thought.  
Life is so short, so fast the lone hours fly,  
We ought to be together, you and I._

Alexandra,

I hope that my notes and gifts have not offended you. They are merely a token of my affection.

I have chosen other men's words to woo, for my voice disappears when I think of the gloriousness of you. If you would consider meeting me, I will be at the Butterfly exhibit at the Bronx Zoo tomorrow at noon. I will carry the other cashmere glove in my hand to make your pair complete.

If you should decide not to meet me, I will respectfully understand and never bother you again.

With trembling hands, Alex lowered the note to her lap. Her mind raced with a million and one reasons why she shouldn't agree to this requested rendezvous.

Her once impenetrable broken heart beat thunderously in her bosom; raw and exposed, open for the first time in years urged her differently.

She reached for the phone beside her and dialed one of her trusted confidantes.

"Gerry, is my sister around?"


	7. Chapter 7

Colleen Eames McLean listened with an open mind to her sister, Alex's predicament.

"Col, promise you won't tell Mom or Dad. Daddy will wait for this guy at the Zoo brandishing his old .45," Alex pleads.

"I promise, don't worry. Well, I gotta tell you, at first this whole thing sounded really creepy to me, but now, quite frankly, I'm a little envious," Colleen says.

"Envious? Colleen, for all I know this could be a crazy stalker who saw me in the paper or something. Or even worse, poor Lewis."

"I don't think it's a stalker and why poor Lewis? Would you consider going out with him?" Colleen asked.

Alex thought about what little she knew about Bobby's friend. He was self-made man with his own body shop, down-to-earth, car lover and long-time friend to Bobby Goren. Oh and he wore glasses.

Gee, Alex, after six years you think you could have gotten to know Bobby's best friend a little better than that.

"Lex, did you hear what I said?"

"Yeah, sorry, just thinking. I don't think Lewis is my type, I mean he seems like a great guy and all but, he is a bit quirky."

Colleen smothered a laugh, "Oh, please, if quirky isn't your type why did you fall in love with Bobby?"

"WHAT?"

"C'mon Doofus, you think I don't notice that he's all you talk about? How much you worry about him? I love you Lex, but I think it's time to admit that you do love him and either do something about it or let it go once and for all."

Struck speechless, Alex sits in silence, listening to her sister's breathing.

"Please don't tell me your speechless. You've always had a smart answer for everything since you learned to talk," Colleen teases.

"Shit, do you think Mom or Dad noticed? And did you just call me Doofus?" Alex asks.

Colleen laughs. "Well, Mom has always thought that the two of you would be good together, and of course, Dad was always more worried about you and Bobby jumping in the sack."

"WHAT? Did he actually say that?"

"Well, yeah, you know Dad. I think he's getting to that age where they'll say anything, it's kinda funny," Colleen says.

"Oh, God. I don't know what to do anymore. Ever since Joe died, I've just met one loser after the next and the one person I can't be with is the one I fall in love with. It's just too complicated between work and now with his mom's diagnosis…"

"Lex, I love you awful, so please listen to me. It wouldn't be the end of the world if you admitted to him that you love him. Since Joe's death you've closed yourself off and this is the first time in over eight years that you've expressed this yearning again. There is no shame in wanting someone to take care of you every now and again."

"When did you get so smart?" Alex says tearfully.

"I watch a lot of Oprah," she laughs.

"Okay, just one step at a time then, right. Are you going to meet Mr. Mysterious tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I think I will. Who knows, maybe it's George Clooney coming to take me away." Alex laughs.

"You wish doofus."


	8. Chapter 8

That night as Alex sits by her window reading a book, she is interrupted by a soft knock on her door. Padding to the door in her pajamas, she sees Bobby's large form through her peephole.

"Hey Bobby, is everything okay?"

"Yeah, I just got back from Carmel Ridge and wanted to check in on you," Bobby says.

"Come on in," she says and as he brushes past her, she catches the faint scent of cigarettes and Bobby's aftershave.

"Did you eat anything today, Bobby," she asks as he settles himself on her couch looking exhausted.

"I had some coffee, oh and a raspberry Danish a few hours ago," he replies.

"Oh, that's a healthy diet. I have some leftover chicken and rice, I'll heat it up for you," Alex says turning back into the kitchen.

"You are a saint, Eames," Bobby yells from the living room.

Once she was seated next to Bobby again on the couch, she watched him devour the food as if he hadn't had a decent meal in ages.

"Bobby, are you taking care of yourself?" Alex asks, finding her fingers in his hair.

"I'm trying, but it's hard with the running back and forth to see to my mother. That's why I'm so lucky to have you, Eames, you always take good care of me," he says with a slight smile.

In that moment, Alex wants more than anything to throw her arms around him and tell him that she loves him and will always take care of him; That they will always take care of each other.

"Bobby, I need to tell you…Bobby?"

Alex realizes that in a space of a moment, Bobby has fallen asleep with his head leaning back onto her sofa with his mouth slightly open. Between his utter exhaustion and the gentle massage of her fingers in his hair, Bobby finally found some rest.

"Sleep tight, Bobby," Alex says as she quietly covers him with a blanket.

As she lies in bed that night, she can hear Bobby's soft snores from the living room and could only wish she could hear that noise every night, but in her bed.


	9. Chapter 9

Alex wakes on Sunday morning to find Bobby already gone, the blanket neatly folded on the back of her couch. He was sweet enough to make a fresh pot of coffee before he left.

Alex finds herself procrastinating. The nerves in her belly will not cease, so she continues to lie on her couch longer than usual. She can still smell Bobby on the cushions.

No matter who this admirer is, Lewis or a complete stranger, Alex knows that the time has come to talk to Bobby about her feelings towards him.

The prospect of this conversation sends another wave of nausea over her. 'He's just going to freak out, I just know it.' He's been so stressed lately dealing with his mother's declining health and is hesitant to cause more stress for him. If he could just see that I can help him more than he lets me.

She forces herself up and makes her way to her bathroom for a long hot shower. After changing a few times, Alex decides that she is being ridiculous and settles on her DKNY blue jeans with a black v-neck sweater. Before exiting her house, she bundles herself up in her pashima, adding a slice of color to her wardrobe.

As Alex sits in traffic making her way to the Bronx Zoo, her mind inevitably wanders to Bobby. She decides to check on him before reaching her destination.

"Goren."

"Some girls might get the wrong idea when a man leaves without saying goodbye," she teases.

"Uh, yeah, sorry about that, Eames. I just needed to get back up to Carmel Ridge and take care of some things."

"I'm just teasing you, Bobby. Did you get enough sleep last night? You were unconscious on the couch," she asks.

"Yeah, I actually slept pretty well last night. It must have been the food. And the company," he softly adds. "Thanks again, Eames. It's been a very long time since someone took care of me."

"I'm always here, Bobby, you should know that by now."

"Yeah, I think I finally do," he says. Alex can tell from the cadence of his voice that he is smiling lightly.

"Well, call me if you need anything. Give your mom a kiss for me and I guess I'll see you tomorrow morning," Alex says.

"You bet, Eames. Have a good day, huh?"

"I hope so. Bye, Bobby."

And with his goodbye, Alex shuts her phone and pulls into the parking lot of the Bronx Zoo.

I can't feel my feet, Alex thinks.

_Oh, stop being a wuss and just go in there_, her thoughts continue.

The two sides of her brain seem to be involved in a heated debate as to what exactly she should do at this moment.

She's not scared of a dangerous stalker, as she did carry her gun and hell, who needs that when she can just crack him in the balls with my knee.

_Nothing says loving than castration._

"Alright, just shut up in there. I'm going in," she talks to herself as she quickly exits the car.


	10. Chapter 10

Alex paid or an admission ticket and made a beeline towards the maps and information center. She was early so she figured she would check out whatever was closest to the Butterfly garden.

Unfortunately, the closest exhibit was something called the "Mouse House" which held a house full of rodents.

Alex shuddered and thought, 'Seen plenty of those in my old apartment. No thanks.'

She wandered along the windy paths admiring the lush landscapes, amazed to find such a sanctuary in the middle of the Bronx.

As Alex turned a corner, she came upon a beautiful glass enclosed greenhouse surrounded by a variety of wildflowers. The sunshine glinted off of the glass creating blinding rays of color. The pace of her footsteps increased as well as her heartbeat.

Upon entering the greenhouse, she noticed the sign at the door noting that the butterflies were released twice a day for maximum exposure. The next release was to be in 5 minutes, so Alex made her way to the middle of the greenhouse marveling at the lush meadows surrounding her. She breathed in the heady fragrance of the wildflowers around her. She recognized lilacs, snapdragons, and the sweet white clover.

Taking a moment to glance around, she did not see anyone besides children holding onto the hands of their parents, hoping to catch a glance at a butterfly.

Alex checked her watch and noted that is was precisely 12:10 p.m. He was late.

_I bet you George Clooney doesn't keep his ladies waiting_, she groused with a smirk.

She pulled out the lone sapphire cashmere glove and rubbed the material between her fingers. Maybe this was a bad idea, she thought. Whoever her admirer was wouldn't be able to erase the feelings that she harbored for Bobby. Best to get this over with and try to figure out how to approach Bobby with her feelings.

Alex never liked rejecting someone, unless he was a total ass. This person seemed sweet and gentle and she wasn't looking forward to the awkward, it's-not-you-its-me conversation she was going to have to dole out.

Maybe I won't have to. Maybe he chickened out, she prayed.

At that moment, just when Alex was going to leave, she felt a shiver go through her. She knew that feeling. Someone was watching her.

Author's Note: Don't hit me, Mr. Mysterious shows up in the next chapter!! 


	11. Chapter 11

The tingling sensation crawling up Alex's spine intensifies as she subtly scans the area in search of the eyes she knows are watching. She is suddenly distracted by squeals of laughter and awe.

The symphony of a thousand fluttering wings announces the release of the butterflies. Brilliantly colored and heartbreakingly graceful, each sets off to find its own flower or tree. In the midst of the winged creatures and outlined by a lush field of honeysuckle, Alex's eyes fall upon a figure slowly walking towards her.

A single sapphire glove clutched firmly in his hand.

The tingling sensations have returned a thousand fold. The air surrounding her feeling as thick as molasses, sticky to the touch as she struggles to put one foot ahead of the other.

The eyes of the man now standing before her are lingering on the glove now tightly clasped to her breast.

"I believe this belongs to you," presenting the glove in his warm hand to her.

Lips that have never smiled so luminously collect the tears cascading down her face.

"Oh, God, I was so desperate for it to be you."

"And I was desperately hoping you wouldn't turn me away," he says softly cradling her face, dropping his forehead to hers.

"I love you, Alex."

"I love you, too, Bobby."

The simple touch of his lips and my arms were around him, feeling his strong arms under my fingers and soaking in the warmth of his eyes with my own.

Our soft close-mouthed kisses seemed to last forever. Enjoying the feel of his lips against mine, equally gentle and desperate. Alex felt his staggered breath, as he would exhale through his nose to avoid separating their mouths.

As I wrap my arms around his neck he pulls back to wrap me in his strong embrace. We hold on to each tightly as the butterflies surround the nearby flowers. My lips kiss away the salty tears on his cheeks as he runs his fingers through my hair.

"I can't believe it was you all this time. Why didn't you say anything?"

Bobby pulls back and grasps my hands with his. "You are the first real thing I've ever known in my life and the thought of losing you…it was unbearable. I can't remember what it feels like not to love you and that terrifies me. I realized that I've been waiting for some kind of release and I think I've found it. In the past few weeks you have supported me when everything around me has been falling apart… and one day I just knew."

"Knew what?"

"I knew you loved me. I felt it every moment you looked at me and I realized that I had to let go of all the bullshit I've been carrying around if I wanted any kind of life. It wasn't my mother's fault or my father's that I've kept myself locked away. It's been my fear of losing another person I loved. You found a way to get past all that and as scared as I am even right now, I'm going to hold on tight and not let go."

"I promise, Bobby, I'm never letting go either."


	12. Chapter 12

Bobby apparently appointed himself her official tour guide for the day as he pointed out different species of butterflies, each with their own meaning and story. When a vibrant multi-colored Monarch butterfly perched itself on Alex's shoulder, Bobby explained that it was probably attracted to her pastel blue shawl.

"Or maybe," he says nuzzling his nose into her neck, "it's your perfume. They are enticed by flowery scents. Apparently, I am too."

The day seemed to pass in a blur as they explored most of the exhibits at the Zoo. They ate popcorn and cotton candy. They even watched on almost embarrassed as the Tigers did their mating dance.

"That cat better watch it," Eames says, "That girl has some mighty sharp claws."

"But that's one of the reasons he picked her," Bobby explains with his arm around her waist. "As the alpha male, he needs a strong partner and even though she'll be a pain in the ass to woo, he knows that it will be worth it."

"Are we still talking about the Tigers?" she says with raised eyebrows.

"Well, now that I think about it," he says raising one of his hands to his chin, "you can be a pain-in-the-ass…"

"Hey!" Alex laughs as she smacks him upside the head.

"Ow, don't you know it's bad luck to smack around your date?" Bobby teases.

"It's also bad luck to call your date names, especially if she has sharp claws."

Bobby pulls her into a hug as they laugh, "I know your one tough cookie, Eames," he says kissing her hair softly. "But, I also know that you have a very soft underbelly. You have a soft spot for poetry and, oh, the horror, girly things," he teases.

"Yeah, well, don't let it get around or I'll have to hurt you."

"Don't worry, your secret is safe with me. Besides, I like knowing that I have your soft underbelly all to myself."

"C'mon, Goren, it's almost dinnertime and I need some real food. How about we get some dinner?"

"Always thinking with your stomach, Eames."

Over dinner, Bobby became visibly emotional when speaking about his mother's deteriorating health. He confessed that he feared the thought of finding himself alone after his mother's death and how he would react.

"The day she was diagnosed, I took a walk around Columbus Circle and I found the butterfly broach. I made me think of you and I bought it right on the spot. I've never seen you wear anything like it and I know you don't wear much jewelry at work, but it reminded me of something."

"Reminded you of what? Of me?"

"Do you remember the first year we were partnered? We handled the Martinelli case?" Bobby asked.

"Yeah, I remember him. I also remember that it was hot as hell the week we were chasing after him," she replied.

"The night he was brought in to 1PP we got called after hours. You showed up in a tight red wrap dress and you had a glittering barrette in your hair. I remember you were pissed because you were with a date eating at the Tavern On The Green."

"My God, Goren, you remember that? I can't even remember who my date was."

"I remember thinking you were so pretty. I always noticed you, but that night, I saw you differently. For just one brief moment, I saw Alexandra, just a beautiful woman. Then of course, you spoke and threatened to castrate James Martinelli and my Eames was back," he laughed. "The broach reminded me of that night, how beautiful and tough you are."

Alex hid her blush behind the curtain of her hair. "I love the broach, and the poetry."

"I knew even if you hated the it you would love the poetry."

"You use your skills wisely, Detective Goren. I'm sure you spied some Pablo Neruda poetry at my place."

"I might have noticed a time or two."

"Uh huh. Why don't we have coffee at my place and you could read some to me. I miss that, you know. You read a lot to me in the hospital, but never anything like that."

"It would be my pleasure, Eames."


	13. Chapter 13

They remain mostly silent during the car ride back to Alex's house. Alex's heart was pounding so thunderously in her chest that she was sure he could hear it too. She blamed the silence on the intoxicating realization that they were about to ignite a spark that would scorch the both of them.

A spark so bright and potent that once ignited would never be extinguished.

The one concession they allowed themselves was the tight grip Bobby had on her hand resting upon the gearshift. The slight contact was reassuring and strangely exciting.

Once inside Alex's house, they kicked off their shoes and made their way to her tiny kitchen.

"Bobby, how about some tea instead of coffee? I have that orange pekoe tea that you like."

"Sounds good. Want me to help you with anything?"

"No, I've got this covered. How about you go and pick out a book? If you want a wider variety I have more bookshelves in the bedroom," she said as she filled up the kettle.

As Bobby turned from the bookcases in the living room, his eyes wandered to Alex's bedroom door. He had been in every room in her house, but in six years he had never seen her bedroom. The temptation proved too much for him as he made his way down the hallway.

Upon opening the door, Bobby's senses were hit with a tantalizing combination of smells. Vanilla and jasmine from her lotions and perfumes, and the comforting citrus smell of the yellow and white sheets gracing Alex's walnut sleigh bed.

He smiled at the sight of one entire wall completely filled with her books. He was pleasantly surprised a few years ago when he found out about Eames' love of poetry. It was an intriguing insight into the woman he never could quite understand.

_I understand you now though, Alex. _

Whereas he read veraciously to feed an incessant hunger, Alex reads to soothe her soul.

They were more alike than they ever imagined. But different enough so that his torn edges would fit perfectly into hers. Mending themselves and each other.

Bobby scanned the numerous rows looking for just the right book. As he mentally noted some possibilities, he finally came across just the right one. Smiling in satisfaction, he quickly snatched the book and walked back to the living room.

Bobby quickly grabbed something from his jacket pocket and then began to move the coffee table against the wall to allow enough open space for the both of them in the middle of the room. He arranged the large throw pillows on the floor to ensure her comfort.

"What are you doing?"

Bobby is so intent on arranging everything perfectly that he is startled to see Alex walking towards him with two steaming mugs.

"I'm…I'm getting us situated. I can't have my queen uncomfortable as I serenade her with beautiful prose," he says looking innocently charming.

"Oh geez, save the charm for the bimbos, Bobby," she laughs setting the cups down on the floor.

Bobby laughs, "Get your cute ass over here, Eames," he says sitting down on the floor patting the artfully arranged pillows in front of him.


	14. Chapter 14

Once Alex sat down on the pillows, Bobby went about plumping them so that they surrounded her, creating an almost cocoon-like bed. She couldn't contain her laughter as he laid her down so that she was enveloped perfectly in softness.

"You ready, Eames?"

"I'm breathless with anticipation," Alex answers looking up at Bobby.

We have lost even this twilight.  
No one saw us this evening hand in hand  
while the blue night dropped on the world.

I have seen from my window  
the fiesta of sunset in the distant mountain tops.

Sometimes a piece of sun  
burned like a coin in my hand.

I remembered you with my soul clenched  
in that sadness of mine that you know.

As the soft timbre of Bobby's voice recites the promised Neruda poem, Alex's eyes are drawn to his mouth. Not for the first time she finds herself aroused at the thought of Bobby's lips breathing out words so dear to her. She is overcome with gratitude that this man, this wonderfully complicated gentle man is really here with her. Finally where he belongs.

As Bobby recites the last sentence of the poem, Alex closes her eyes in a thankful prayer.

_Always, always you recede through the evenings  
toward the twilight erasing statues_

Lips that were just engaged in recitation are now kissing her closed eyelids.

"Thank you, Bobby," she sighs raising her hand to his stubbled cheek.

"Don't thank me yet. I'm not nearly finished," he promises.

_Robert Goren's voice should be regulated by the FDA_, Alex decides. He has recited poem after poem to her as promised and his deep powerful voice has lulled her into a deliciously relaxed state.

_Screw Valium and Vicodin. Doctor, give me a big dose of Bobby Goren._

"I think you need a little snack."

Alex opens her eyes and watches Bobby pull a small red packet out of his shirt pocket.

_Dear God, I knew there was a reason I fell in love with this man._

Robert Goren is little by little feeding me tropical Skittles. In between poems, he hand feeds me one at a time. I notice that each time his fingers linger on my lips a little longer than before.

I finally move my head to lay on his outstretched leg, settling high on his thigh. The soft denim of his broken-in jeans rubbing against my cheek. I notice his breath catch on the next line of the poem and a shiver down his thigh as he body responds to mine.

Under the summer roses  
When the flagrant crimson  
Lurks in the dusk  
Of the wild red leaves,  
Love, with little hands,  
Comes and touches you  
With a thousand memories,  
And asks you  
Beautiful, unanswerable questions

Bobby's recitation of 'Under the Harvest Moon' has ended and I am once again presented with a lemony yellow skittle clasped between Bobby's two fingers. I dart my tongue out to lick the tiny candy, the slickness of my tongue catching on his fingertips. He cannot hide the slight tremble of his hand as I grab the sweet candy between my teeth and wrap my lips around his index finger.

The soft suction of my mouth causes Bobby to shift on the floor, the book falling from his lap.

Releasing his fingertip slowly, I crawl into Bobby's lap, wrapping my arms around his neck and begin a slow torturous assault on his neck.

Bobby's hands are in my hair securing my mouth to him. The occasional thrusts of his hips against my ass, only serve to excite me more.

"I'm taking you to bed now, Alex," Bobby whispers in my ear.

Suddenly, I am being carried in his arms, legs firmly secured around his waist as Bobby takes us to my bedroom.


	15. Chapter 15

I will always remember the first time I felt the wonderful pressure of Bobby's body on top of mine. His broad shoulders hovering over me, the astonishing heat our bodies were creating against one another.

I felt exquisitely delicate and tremendously powerful all at the same time.

As our lips separated from our deep soft kisses, Bobby's mouth began its slow descent down my neck. The vibration of the words he was speaking tingling on my skin.

_If I were her lover,  
I'd wade through the clover  
Over the fields before  
The lane that leads to her door; _

His strong agile tongue sweeping up to my earlobe, softly nibbling on the sensitive skin.

_  
I'd wait, 'mid the thickets,  
Or there by the pickets,  
White pickets that fence in her door,  
For the life of my life and more.  
_

Bobby's demanding hands sweep across my back to come together at the front of my shirt. He starts to unbutton my shirt.

_I'd lean in the clover—  
The crisper  
For the dews that are over—  
And whisper:  
_

On the word 'whisper' Bobby has already divested me of my shirt, exposing my breasts and navel to the cold air.

_"Your lips are as rare  
As the dewberries there,  
As ripe and as red,  
On the honey-dew fed" . . ._

_If I were her lover to whisper._

Bobby's lips glide a shivery path across my cheeks, stopping when he comes to my lips.

The slow, deep passionate kisses bring tears to my eyes. I want to simply crawl into him, protect him, and love him. My hands are in his hair holding his mouth to mine, beckoning him to take all of me. Dropping my hands to his chest, I begin to unbutton his shirt, but Bobby pulls back from me.

Straddling me, he puts up his index finger and shakes it back and forth.

"Tut-Tut Alex, just lay back and enjoy," he says pushing his shirt down his shoulders to reveal his strong broad chest to me.

I always wondered what it would feel like to have Bobby's energy completely focused on me. Let me tell you, Bobby's energy is almost tangible and I find my hands clutching at his powerful shoulders.

"You want more, Alex?"

I see him above me, his body creating an alluring silhouette as the moonlight beams into my room.

"Please, More Bobby," I whisper desperately.


	16. Chapter 16

"Please, More Bobby," I whisper desperately.

Bobby is now slowly and erotically kissing and sucking on my fingertips in between lines.

_Were I with cool pleasure to've loved you,  
you would have seen  
with your deep, perceptive eyes  
and with equal coolness noted;  
returning no engagement_

His tongue is blazing a hot trail up my arm, lingering to suck on the inside of my elbow. The tickling sensation causes a shudder to run through me but is quickly replaced with a burning ache that sends shockwaves to the very core of me.

_I cannot love you  
but with a burning passion;  
with abandon and desire.  
In my breast lies blood and bones  
and a heart that beats more quickly  
when my eyes drink you._

Bobby's hands and lips have traveled their way to my collarbone and as he sweeps his fingertips across, his mouth finds my racing pulse.

_True, our friendship blooms in common ground.  
True, our spirits in a spiral dance, into the heavens rise.  
Our feet however, on the soft wet earth reside.  
Our scent is on the wind. _

_Tis passion that engaged your heart.  
I will not bow to reason._

His next words are spoken as I look into his dark tender eyes.

_I bring you passion's fire alone  
to warm your heart and bed.  
Take it, see, it never dies;  
its fuel is in your eyes._

I gasp loudly as Bobby's mouth is now on my breast. His hands and mouth alternating between both. Sucking, nibbling, biting, soothing. The roughness of his stubble burning a path against the soft skin there.

I feel the coolness of air against my thighs and realize that Bobby has already managed to undress me from the waist down.

_His slight of hand tricks are better than I thought._

With his commanding hands he turns me over on the bed so I am laying flat on my stomach. His hands run up and down my spine, lingering on the soft firm flesh of my ass. I hear the sound of his zipper being pulled down and the soft sweep of material falling to the fall.

_Between your sheets you soundly sleep  
Nor dreams of vigils that we lovers keep  
While all the night, I waking sigh your name,  
The tender sound does every nerve inflame,  
Imagination shows me all your charms,  
The plenteous silken hair, and waxen arms,  
The well turned neck, and snowy rising breast  
And all the beauties that supinely rest  
between your sheets. _

Bobby's lips press small butterfly kisses all along my back as his hands glide up and down my body.

_Ah, could you see my heart,  
How fond, how true, how free from fraudful art,  
The warmest glances poorly do explain  
The eager wish, the melting throbbing pain   
Which through my very blood and soul I feel,_

The sensation of Bobby's tongue sliding up my spine leaves me breathless and moaning, my hips grinding into the mattress. Bobby laves the nape of her neck with open-mouthed kisses and small bites.

_Which you cannot believe nor I reveal,  
Which every metaphor must render less  
And yet (methinks) which I could well express  
between your sheets._

The heady combination of the powerful words and the feeling of his strong hard cock against my ass overwhelm my senses and I am twisting in his arms and pulling his mouth down to mine. Bobby matches the intensity of my kiss and we both are grasping at each other, trying to get as close as humanly possible.

Bobby lets out a soft moan as I surprise him by turning us over so I can lay on top of him. As his hands dig into my ass, I sit up straddling his stomach. The feeling of his chest under my hands and the strong ribs under me create a passionate response in me that I've never known.

Bobby sets his hand on the back of my neck and pulls me down for a ravenous kiss. I pull back up and wave my finger at him.

"Tut-Tut, Bobby, just lay back and enjoy," I tease.

Bobby's smile is heartbreakingly beautiful.

He moans my name as I slide myself down his belly and set myself directly over his hardness. I can see the slick trail I have left down his belly, which is quivering with anticipation.

"I love you, Bobby."

"I love you so much, Alex. I need to get inside you. Please, Alex," he begs.


	17. Chapter 17

I can hardly believe that the lustful moans echoing in my ears are escaping my own mouth. As I lower myself slowly onto Bobby's cock, I feel as if the breath is being knocked out of me. He is larger than any man I've ever been with so I take my sweet time about it.

As I am halfway down, I shimmy my hips a little for an easier slide down and am rewarded with an feral groan from Bobby. His large hands grab my hips and still my movements.

"Do that again," he demands between clenched teeth.

The smile on my face is almost wicked as my hips do another little shimmy on his cock.

"Shit," Bobby yells as he slams me all the way down on him.

The sensation of having Bobby inside me sends me reeling. It's as if I'm in another world where all that matters is touch, taste, grind, and push and pull.

I almost double over as his fullness can be felt all the way in my belly.

The movement inadvertently positions me so that Bobby's cock is pushing into the spot way up inside me making me scream at the top of my lungs.

Bobby's eyes haven't left me the whole time. I nod my head to let him know that I'm alright and I feel the soft pressure of his hands on my hips urging me on.

I ride him at a slow gallop, eyes closed and head tipped back. Bobby's legs are now bent so I can lean back against them as I move. It's as if we have performed this intimate dance before, as we are so in synch with each other's bodies.

Callused hands are grasping at my breasts, pinching and tweaking the hard nipples.

As the tempo of our hips increase, I tip my head back to look into Bobby's eyes. They are glassy and almost lecherous.

I softly clasp one of his hands from my breast and begin sucking on his fingers as I ride him faster. The hollow of my cheeks, slickness of my mouth and the heat of my pussy force both tender and filthy words to escape Bobby's mouth.

Spurred on by Bobby's unrestrained passion, I press my hands harder onto his chest and grind my hips more erratically as I feel myself on the edge of an amazing orgasm.

"Oh yeah, Alex, c'mon, I want to come inside you. I want you to feel it," he groans roughly.

The scream in my ears and the soreness of my throat are the next things I remember. I've come so hard and I can feel the sweat slipping down my back. Bobby's hips are jerking and his face is one of beautiful ecstasy as he groans out his orgasm, spilling himself into me.

**Author's Note: Do you want more??? Give me mucho reviews and I'll do it!!! I need a cigarette after that. Whew…**


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